When A Good Man Goes To War
by victoriansass
Summary: HYDRA has left too many scars on Steve's life. They should have known better than to mess with the woman he loves though. Frankly, they should have known better than to mess with Peggy Carter full stop. (MCU AU, much teamwork, much bropts, much Steggy).
1. Chapter 1

"Damn, if I'd known how good the view here was, I would've come by earlier."

The voice was all toying drawl. Full of confidence. Bold, considering the speaker shouldn't even be there.

The fact that Steve chose preserving his dignity over preserving his life - grabbing a tight hold of the towel around his waist rather than reaching for the nearest weapon - probably said something about him.

Fortunately for his safety, Natasha was more amused than lethal.

She sat perched on the arm of the chair rather than the seat, plain manila folder in hand, the professional document at odds with the casual smirk on her face. However she'd got into his apartment, she'd left no trace but she looked pleased as hell at having caught 'Captain America' out. And in just his bath towel no less.

Recovering his composure if not entirely his pride, Steve nodded in greeting.

"So I guess no one in SHIELD ever learned how to knock, huh?"

Just a few weeks ago it'd been Fury here, hiding in the dark. Bleeding and silently asking for Steve's help. Steve guessed he could be forgiven for eyeing Natasha with suspicion in the circumstances, regardless of their newfound trust.

Besides, she said she'd be getting out of town for the foreseeable future and he hadn't seen since the graveyard. She hadn't replied to any of his messages either. Natasha didn't seem like the kind who'd drop by on a whim.

"Now where would be the fun in that?"

She continued to smile as she stood up and started to casually inspect his bland apartment.

"So this is where Steve Rogers calls home, huh?"

He didn't bother to correct her. At least she hadn't said ' _Captain America_ '.

Her expression was all but inscrutable - a well honed skill - as she passed the bookshelf, looking at the few personal items on displays like she was weighing him up. A scrutiny he wasn't entirely comfortable with.

Pausing at a picture of old, long gone friends - he and the Howling Commandos in a bombed out bar in Reims - her smile returned, softer this time. It struck Steve then that maybe he should have offered her somewhere to stay after things had gone down with SHIELD. That she'd needed a friend and he'd been too distracted by other issues to realise.

Now - clearer head, more attentive - he could at least see that behind the teasing there was something uneasy about her manner. A hesitance hidden in each step. He frowned.

"What brings you here; business or pleasure?"

"Well it was gonna be business but…"

She waggled her eyebrows in a manner just short of obscene.

"Natasha…"

She waved a dismissive hand that was as close to an apology as he was ever likely to get.

"Go put some pants on. This is the sort of news you'll wanna hear whilst fully dressed."

By the time he returned a few minutes later - dressed in tee shirt and sweats, hair still damp - she'd sat herself on the floor next to the coffee table, the contents of the folder she'd brought with her now spread out across the surface. There were photos mainly (black and white, some of people, some building reconnaissance) along with print outs that looked like official reports and memos.

"Been going through all the SHIELD intel you put out there?" he guessed, nodding at the documents as he joined her on the floor.

"Like I said, I wanted to know who I was really working for. I don't like being lied to."

Her gaze stayed fully fixed on the papers but there was a tension in the set of her jaw, reflected in the way she flicked her hair back. Steve hadn't looked it up (and never would) but he knew Natasha had done some pretty terrible stuff when she'd been part of the Red Room program. SHIELD was meant to be her fresh start. Now he figured that'd been replaced by the task of tearing down whatever parts of HYDRA she could lay her hands on, fuelled by a simmering resentment at being manipulated once more.

He laid a hand on her shoulder; almost too briefly, he felt.

"So you found something interesting."

"Mostly junk. A lot of failed side projects before Insight. Then I started looking in to _people_."

He looked up so fast there was almost an audible snap from his neck muscles.

"Bucky?"

The tight hope in that one word said way too much.

Nat had handed over all she could find on the Winter Soldier program but most of it had been about confirmed and possible kills rather than anything regarding the 'subject' himself. Wherever he was and whatever had happened to him, it seemed that they'd either destroyed all evidence of it or hidden it incredibly well. Steve and Sam had hit nothing but dead ends in their search so far and, yes, it was early days but Steve was already starting to get frustrated. New leads could mean the difference between finding him and not.

"No."

He tried not to look disappointed.

Natasha picked up a photo, sliding it out from under the pile where she'd carefully concealed it. Holding it to her chest with something like hesitance on her face before she relented and placed it down in front of him.

"But there was this."

It was black and white; a still from a surveillance camera maybe? The room depicted was stark and bare, furnished with only a single metal table and a couple of uncomfortable looking chairs. A two way mirror lined one wall. Standard interrogation room.

There were two people in the photograph. One, a nondescript man in a plain coloured suit. He had his back to the camera, palms resting on the table as he leaned over to the talk to the seated woman. Like he was trying to intimidate her.

It didn't seem to be working.

She looked more pissed off than scared, dark hair pulled into a plait although some curls still escaped to frame her face. She looked ragged but defiant.

It was never a look he'd seen on her before - always so composed - but not for a moment did Steve try to argue himself out of the realisation. He just _knew_ this was no mind trick.

He didn't need reassurance but Nat gave it anyway.

"It's her, isn't it? The girl from the photo. I looked her up; Margaret Carter. Helped found SHIELD with Howard Stark and Colonel Chester Phillips. Declared MIA in 1950 after she failed to return from a field mission. "

She repeated the facts like she was reading them directly from a personnel file. Detached. Clinical. Everything that Steve wasn't.

Carefully he took the photo, staring at it, trying to swallow into a dry throat as he looked into her life, into a past that he should have belonged to. Seeing a woman who seemed somehow more real here than she ever had when he'd looked at the SHIELD file photo of her (the only one he possessed).

"Did she… did HYDRA get her?"

The words stuck hard in his throat. It would explain her disappearance.

Nat eyed him cautiously, like he was something volatile, like she had no idea what he'd do next. Hand reaching across and pointing to the faint text in the bottom right corner.

"Steve, look here…"

The timestamp on the photo marked it as 4 weeks ago.


	2. Chapter 2

Super soldier or not, Steve Rogers looked like a man who hadn't slept for days.

Maybe that was why Nat had insisted on meeting in a cafe; make sure he got some much needed caffeine in him. He sat hunched over a strong, simple coffee - two shots, milk, no sugar - shoulders bunched and baseball cap pulled tight down. He didn't have the patience for being recognised today.

Nat didn't share his need for subtlety, turning heads as she walked in, bright red hair and tight jeans catching the eye of more than one guy in the room. Steve sipped too hot coffee in irritation, mentally preparing a lecture on the right time to be inconspicuous before some of Nat's own words of wisdom shamed him into giving her a break.

' _Only suspicious looking people attract suspicion. Always act like you belong somewhere. When you try to blend in, when you try to hide, you stand out more_ '.

He sighed, trying to smooth out the hunch in his shoulders. He still had a lot to learn.

She nodded at him in greeting but bypassed the table, went straight to the counter and bought a milkshake before she sat down. Banana. Sickeningly sweet by the smell of it. Many things were, in Steve's opinion. People put too much sugar in everything these days.

Patience had never been one of his virtues; he got straight to business without the niceties of 'hello'.

"Did you find him?"

Who else but Nick Fury could they turn to for information on this? Certainly not the World Security Council, who would tell them nothing (even if they did know anything, which Steve doubted given their recent record); everyone else in SHIELD was either scattered and in hiding or HYDRA.

Or dead.

Fury was practical to the point of being a callous son of a bitch; the type who would sell anyone down the road if it was deemed for ' _the greater good_ '. Steve's trust in him was still fleeting and changeable. But only Fury had had the wit to see HYDRA lying beneath SHIELD's webs. If you wanted answers, he was the man to seek out.

As for getting those answers out of him? Well, that was a hurdle to be crossed however necessary.

Perhaps Steve had learned a thing or two from him after all.

Not that it would apparently help as Nat delivered the bad news with the same steady tone she did everything else.

"No. He's completely gone to ground."

"Damn it, Nat..."

Steve tried to keep that all anger and no accusation but she'd always said he was a terrible liar.

She arched an eyebrow, narrowing her gaze as she leaned back in her chair as though she wanted full sight of him.

"You think I'm _protecting_ him?"

She was much better at covering her intent than he was. Offended? Amused? Hurt? He had no idea, but then again he wasn't even entirely sure what he'd meant by that in the first place. Yeah, she was Fury's girl through and through, always had been, but did he really trust her so little to think she'd lie to him about his?

No. No, that wasn't them at all.

They'd built this friendship on the back of tearing HYDRA down together. She'd had his back when he'd had no one else. If he couldn't even trust her then what was the damn point of it all?

"No, I don't." It was a heavy concession, weighed down by the fallout they were still both dealing with. "I don't think that at all."

She nodded, leaning forward again, slowly stirring her milkshake.

"Good because I'm not giving up. Just give me a chance here. I'm good, but I can't always work miracles."

Steve held up his hand briefly. He was frustrated, yes, but he shouldn't take it out on her.

"I know. I know, sorry."

Nat dismissed that apology with a flick of her fingers and continued like nothing had happened.

"I've called Clint, he's gone to look for Fury. Figured he owed us one after being AWOL when that whole mess went down. In the meantime, I reached out to Hill. Given her a copy of the file to look over. She's gonna meet us here."

Steve nodded, taking all that in. Good. Good planning. So why then was he drumming his forefinger on the table like he was trying to drill his way through it?

Simple; because it was _Peggy_ and having to rely on others was nothing short of torture.

"We just need to find out where they're holding her. I can do the rest."

Nat grinned and tilted her head.

"What you gonna ride in there on your white steed?"

He instantly baulked at that. Peggy would hate the idea, he knew. She was no damsel.

"It's not like that."

Apparently Nat didn't think he was a closet misogynist, waving his semi-apology away as though it were irrelevant.

"No, you love her. You want her to be safe. That's fine." She hesitated and cocked her head to look at him like a scientist would observe a new discovery she wasn't quite sure of. "I'm just surprised you never said a word about her, that's all."

No, he didn't talk. Not about Peggy or Bucky or the Commandos. Not about the war or his childhood or what he went through to become the man he was today. He hadn't talked about any of that since he'd woken up here. Oh, Fury had offered - some kind of therapist, talk things through if he needed to - but Steve had declined, saying he preferred to get back to work. Claiming he was okay. Fury hadn't argued.

Maybe some saw it as being old fashioned - men don't talk about their _feelings_ \- but it really wasn't that. Bringing up the past was tiring, wearing on an already tarnished soul. Recalling all he'd seen on the battlefields was tough. Remembering all he'd lost was worse. He couldn't forget but he could push it to the back of his mind. Pretend. How else was he supposed to be any used to them? What the hell would've been the point in wallowing in pity?

So no, he hadn't told Nat about Peggy. He hadn't told anyone. He'd let them believe that Steve Rogers was some blushing innocent who'd never kissed a girl in his life. It was easier that way.

"Do you tell me everything about your past?"

Maybe that was cruel (her past and his weren't exactly equivalents) but Nat didn't seem offended. Instead she paused and considered it whilst she sipped milkshake through a straw.

"I once took in a stray cat. She used to sleep on my washing basket and pee on anything Clint had sat on." She grinned, brief fondness turning to the more amused smirk that he's used to. "See? Now we're sharing."

Steve smiled. Point made. They were still both testing the waters with this friendship - one that'd been truly cemented in dire circumstances - and he guessed, what with the people they were, it was going to take time. He needed to open up to her as much as she did to him.

"So Captain America fell in love with a British girl, huh? I mean, she's cute but it's not very patriotic, is it?"

Oh, Nat was good. She was very good. Making him laugh even when it _hurt_.

"Yeah, _Captain America_ did. If you'd met her, you'd understand."

"I'm sure I will."

She became more serious after a moment and reached for his sleeve. Her touch was light. Rare. Hesitant. Like she wasn't quite sure what she was doing but wanted to try.

"Look, we'll do this, okay? You're not a one man team."

Had he been acting like one? Maybe it came across that way. Maybe he'd been keeping that distance for a reason. He didn't want to lose again. And he didn't want it to feel like he was to replacing what he had.

"We've got your back," Nat continued. "Me, Sam…" Then, as though she were allergic to being too sentimental for too long... "Where is Hawk Boy any way?"

Steve gave her a dry look.

"He prefers _Falcon_. And he's following up a few leads on Bucky for me."

There was a definite disquiet there. The guilt of being pulled in two important directions and having to make a choice. It'd been an easy one but a choice he'd regretted making all the same.

"I just… I need to concentrate on this right now."

"If _Bucky_ is the man you say he was, I'm guessing he'll understand."

Steve didn't like the way she said 'Bucky', as though she wasn't quite convinced he was a real person at all (or that he was still there) and was simply using the name to humour Steve. He didn't have a chance to say anything though before Maria arrived.

All sharply tailored pants suit, she looked very much the businesswoman, sitting at the table without ordering anything.

"Natasha. Steve. Nice public meeting place."

Ever the soldier beneath her new uniform, ever looking for trouble. A part of Steve admired that kind of cynicism. Particularly when she was so right - the fallout from SHIELD's dismantlement was still coming down. Who knew who was following them around?

Nat on the other hand took her criticism as a casual challenge, taking (what appeared to be) a cell phone from her pocket and placing it on the table.

"We're just three old colleagues meeting for coffee. Besides, if anyone's listening in then

we're asking Steve for advice on how to tell people about our passionate affair."

Steve arched an eyebrow so high he nearly lost it in his hairline but Maria just looked at the phone and grinned.

"Jammer and transmitter in one? Nice." She took a piece of paper from her briefcase, placing it carefully on the table, avoiding the coffee rings. "So I ran this photo you gave me through some facial recognition software. It's definitely her."

Steve tried not to look at it. He'd been staring at it enough during the last couple of days and it wasn't helping. Even so, he knew what he'd seen even before the hours of studying it and the fact she'd thought to question him was galling.

"You think I was making it up?"

She retorted with a hard look.

"I'm still getting used to men from outer space. Give me a chance to ease into time travel. Anyway, I checked the timestamp - it's not been altered with, no photoshop. And whilst there's not much to go on, the suit is Ralph Lauren. Last Fall's collection. So this is definitely legitimate."

To be honest, it hadn't even occurred to Steve that there might be any kind of fraud going on. Suddenly, he was grateful to Maria's suspicious mind for eliminating the possibility.

She continued in a brisk manner.

"Unfortunately, there's nothing in this picture that tells us where she is. We can't get a good enough look at the guy to ID him and this is just a standard SHIELD interrogation suite. There's eighty-four of them in different locations across the globe."

Steve didn't ask why they needed that many, instead he went for practicalities.

"If SHIELD picked her up then there'd be a record of it somewhere, right?"

He could well believe that they would hide it from him (not Fury maybe, but others, higher up or more corrupted) but SHIELD was a stickler for paperwork. They recorded everything. Maybe not in so many words ('hey we have Peggy Carter here') but there must be some kind of trail.

Maria, thankfully, was on the same wavelength.

"True, which made me think that any such records must have been tampered with or falsified to hide her. But… well, I'm no scientist but I'm guessing time travel leaves a mark. An energy signature of some sort. SHIELD monitors the globe for unusual activity. If they found something they would've sent a team to investigate."

He noticed the present tense ( _monitors_ ) but said nothing, assuming it was a slip of the tongue - not used to her change in circumstance - rather than a confession of something going on behind their backs.

"So you're saying HYDRA found her and buried the evidence? Reported that they found nothing?"

Nat, a frown of concentration on her face as though she was working through a web of possibilities, nodded.

"That's what I'd do."

Steve took it to its conclusion.

"Then we need to find out if SHIELD picked up any signals in the last month."

"Exactly."

Maria threw the spanner into the works with such consummate ease that Steve thought he must have misjudged her; she always seemed like the problem solver rather than the problem maker.

"Information which you'd find in the SHIELD operational files. Files which are currently held by the CIA."

Natasha apparently saw that more as an inconvenience than a dead end as she shrugged and sipped her milkshake with resignation on her face. "So much for going straight."

"Sorry."

Steve's apology was genuine. All that she'd gone through over the last month, all that'd been revealed about her, she kind of deserved to lay low for a while, not to go feet first further into everything. Not that she could be dissuaded. Natasha wasn't someone who walked away from a friend, no matter what the cost. He should've learned that when she damned near electrocuted herself.

She just grinned.

"Ah, what's life without a little espionage anyway?"

He smiled too, trying not to think how he would never be able to make this up to her before turning back to Maria.

"How do we get them then?"

"Well we'd need a damn powerful computer system with sophisticated security and the ability to hide its actions."

Steve nodded, although he wasn't sure he had any idea how to get that. Maria, however, was grinning. Looking very pleased with herself. Enjoying the moment just a bit too much.

"Fortunately, I work for a man who has one."


End file.
